Children are the truthful, universal presence of love, sincerity and purity. Here are some very candid hand written notes from our innocent and very precious children. These little messages could bring us some badly needed laughter in this socially intense and politically divisive climate.
Santa better watch out! If he dares to forget getting a pony for this child, there will be immeasurable consequences. Dear Santa, be careful. I daresay, it must suck to be you right this moment. 12569410-37-650-56a979e0b0-1490719445.jpg.jpeg
Little Larry wants God to understand the simple fact that he has a solution to why Cain – a Shepard by occupation, (first-born son of Adam and Eve) killed his younger brother Abel – who was a Farmer. In the book of Genesis, it is stated that Cain murdered Abel. Little Larry believes that the mere idea of their parents – Adam and eve, issuing separate rooms to both brothers, could have eliminated Cain`s murderous deed. Point taken.
Alright people. Little Brendan, wants us all to understand the dire importance of good nutrition. This child, lovingly thanks his mother for providing him with the food that nourishes his body. Hey people, Brendan does not want to die yet!
This kid was so terribly hurt by the fact that his parents committed the horrible crime of cutting his or her beloved hair. How dare they? Now, his or her heart is broken. Did you see the image of the broken heart? The drawing that illustrates exhibit B, illustrates images of two buckets, filled to the brim with sorrowful tears. Oh, how could grown-ups be so cruel……..They better not do that again. You see, they run the risk of not experiencing the true privilege of blissful forgiveness, from their offspring.
Joseph, you are the man. How truly brilliant for a child to recognize the harrowing, never before experienced trials and tribulations of parenthood. It does take balls to be a dad. I do not think anybody needs to dispute that ever-present fact.
Okay, Mitchell is a very compassionate little one. She is very sorry her subject, is about to die. Alas, her drawing shows the little lady with a smile on her face. We do not dare confront you, Mitchell. Death is a no-go zone for most people. Both young and old.
Jonathan definitely has a point. Dinosaurs are extinct. Everyone is safe and we do not ever have to worry about global warming. No fear there, because our President Trump already said, global warming does not exist. We do not have to worry about nuclear weapons, warfare, guns, automobiles, airplanes, drugs and the occasional boogeyman. All we needed to worry about, were dinosaurs. Thanks for the update, Jonathan.
Norma wants God to explain himself to the world, congress and head of the special counsel investigation of Russian interference in the 2016 United States elections and current Special Counsel for the Department of Justice – Mr. Robert Mueller. Norma needs to know if God meant for the giraffe to look the way it does or was it an assebly line error, our creator may have inadvertently made? Hey, we need to send an SOS to God and Beverly Hills plastic surgeons. What`s up God?
This child said, Fruit Promise tastes horrible. Well, her mother has confirmed her daughters opinion. She let us know that, the Fruit Promise beverage, truly does taste quite horrible. We all know that some of these beverages can seriously taste very bad. Please mom, Do not make her drink it again! Point, duly noted.
Mrs. Clark has a very caring and well-informed friend in this child. The child has advised Mrs. Clark to consider bowel movement as a direct source of instant medicine. Okay world, remember Dr. Kid said, when you feel bad, go straight to the loo. Eliminate and voila, a new human is born. The child even went as far as illustrating each sequence. Drawing A, shows an uncomfortable person who is clearly sick and full of poop. Exhibit B, shows how happy and healthy one can be, as soon as we eliminate all garbage. Quite correct, I must say.
Ten year old Lucy wants to communicate the depth of her gratitude to our armed forces. Can you believe it? A ten-year old is actually already very aware of the daily sacrifices that our soldiers go through, in an effort to ensure our safety. Lucy was on point in that regard. Our American warriors are certainly everyone`s hero. I suppose, wonders shall never cease.
This child surely renews our belief in humanity. The little kid, is trying to convince Santa to skip him or her, simply because the child wants the kids in the coast to receive a larger share of Christmas gifts. The child even wants Santa to convey his or her heartfelt greetings to Santa`s Elfs. What`s more, Santa should feed his reindeer some carrots. Did you notice the fact that this little one has spelt every word, correctly?
Little Joyce is thanking God for her baby brother but would have appreciated it, if God had listened carefully and granted her original wish. What was her original wish you say? Oh she simply asked for a puppy. Don`t you just hate it when you ask God for a studio apartment and he actually evaluates your present situation and provides you with a beautiful mansion, instead. How dare God, not care to thoroughly listen to little Joyce`s original request? Alright people. Listen up! Always listen attentively when little defenseless people ask you to grant them a simple wish. Nuff said.
OOh, this child is thoroughly angry. Disappointed and still besotted with his or her parents. On one hand, the child is very angry. On the other hand, the kid truly adores the parents. No confusion, there.
This child is an incredibly big deal. The child`s intention was to communicate how very, very, much the child loves his or her mother. Did you notice that this kid laid emphasis on the fact that the words “Mommy I love you very, very, very much” was about to come to an end? Well, this sentiment was followed by a unique poem: “Roses are red, violets are blue. Mommy`s face gets as red as roses, when daddy eats their snack. The good news is, mommy now realizes the depths of our devotion and the fact that her face mirrors the rich colour of a rose when deprived of nutrition. I think we can all relate.
We all understand how this works. Those who are very dear to us, present us with gifts and because of the constraints of our executive positions as tiny little, very busy children, we suddenly forget the contents of the gifts we were given. I am certain, we are all afflicted with the disease of forgetfulness, during the holidays. Danger – stay away from forgetfulness.
Zac has the right idea. When we pinch people in the nuts, we ought to profusely apologize to them. Referencing the fact that, the act of placing a band-aid on the pain we caused, may create additional problems, is cognitively in order. The apology goes full steam, when we bribe our injured subjects with the great sum of $1.00. Zac is so very correct. Probably, we ought to share Zac`s letter with the White House. It would shed some light on how much people hurt, when you carelessly insult the very essence of who they are. Is anybody paying attention? Hello Washington, DC……
Little Brooke has made her point. Mom cannot be replaced. I just don`t think we should punch people in the face simply because they fail to represent our idea of what gives us comfort. Nevertheless, Brooke really loves her mommy and has no intention of replacing her with another one. Okay world! Did you all get that memo?
This child has been egregiously taken advantage of. How dare mom spend $700.00 on a swim test without bringing it to our attention? I just don`t think we should threaten murder and Sodom and Gomorrah, simply because our excellencies were not duly informed of extra acts of love that parents continue to shower us with. Kids, let`s at least, keep our parents alive. I thank organization kids unlimited, in advance, for their understanding, in this very important matter. Grown-ups, you may stop laughing, now.
Robert`s attempts at finding out God`s nationality, is a shared concern amongst us all. We have been asking this same question for ages. I just doubt that anyone was ever as bold as Robert. This kid straight up, dramatically asked God to make his case on the world`s stage. Almighty father, are you American? What exactly is your nationality?Robert needs to know, because he`s American. Please, educate us all. Heavenly Father.
Sign of the times. Sarah is a very strong little girl. She already knows what she wants. Sarah wants Taylor Swift tickets, now. We must be cognizant of the fact that, she is already quite sophisticated in her choices. Let`s remember, Sarah also wants a boyfriend. Oh, you may not attend a Taylor Swift concert without being accompanied by a boyfriend. This kid is so clever, she even-tempered her demands with kisses. I say, we could all learn a lot from Sarah. People, let us always ask for what we want. We just might get it all. Sarah said so. I am with Ms. Sarah. Let`s do this.
You know what? It takes all kinds. We are all talented in very unique ways. We should always convey our appreciation for our parents, probably in many colorful ways. If you love your dad, tell him how much and maybe, go ahead and celebrate some of his talents.
Seven year old Alice Riley wants to know why Nabisco failed to add cream to her Oreo Biscuits. This is a very grave matter. Alice`s complaint is valid. It`s very important that we recognize the fact that these large organizations should deliver what they promise. Hey, Alice wants to know why she`s been stiffed. Please explain. Nabisco….Hello?
Yeah, Scott has a point. You would be very foolish to buy me a gun that I will in turn, shoot you with. Politically, Scott`s not even aware of what an aggressive can of worms he has inadvertently opened up all over the world. Scott`s saying, Squirt guns, real guns – why even acquire them?
That`s the way to do it, Emily. When in doubt, run! Emily wants her parents to know how offended she is. She has been wronged and she`s not about to put up with it any longer. Emily is all packed up and ready to leave her parents` home, forever. That will teach them a hard lesson. Everybody out there, what are we going to do? Emily is leaving! She graciously informed her parents that her take off time is 9:30. She`s so generous, she even decided, it was best to leave while both parents were asleep. Emily is not only very considerate. She also has a great deal of class. Do you agree?
Mom, Christian has a bone to pick with you. What did you do to deserve this much secrecy? Christian plans to run away and start a new life without you. What are you going to do now? Christian is truly upset. Now, what do we do?
I hope my readers are thoroughly amused by these little, innocent, but very thought provoking expressions. We need laughter now. I hope this serves you well.
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